Afterall, today is a brand new day and I’m going to make it count.
Waking up to your texts made me sort of happier, leftover feelings from the previous night had felt less horrible. I’m sitting in the law library photocopying room right now and I’m consciously and knowingly hoping you might just appear somewhere to make my day. Like you always do. Maybe I fall in love too easy, or so I would like to.
just spent my last twenty minutes reading my livejournal from 4 years ago and realising how life has changed so much. i never thought i’ve changed a lot, but i did.
i read how i fell in love with my good friend unknowingly, how ballet was a big part of my life because it was almost in every post, and i read how my best friend then was really my best friend.
i miss such innocence. now we are just plagued with work and more work. deadlines and school. eat sleep study - life cycle repeats. well ya back to books again. im procrastinating from my essay i suck.
Counting all the times you didn’t let me go with the five fingers on my hand
i thought i could love someone forever, but what naiveté. the going get toughs and sometimes i get tired too. you don’t bother about me anymore but that’s ok. i’d still care for as long as i can, as long as you would allow me to, at least till you find someone new.
i miss you, but you would never know.
ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES
These days it seems hardly possible to talk about real things and feelings with anyone anymore. I wonder if that is just part of growing up. Finding that you’re becoming more alone than ever.
3:14 AM, 18 May 2013
the clock is ticking, i have a 40% essay due in 12 days time, 4 other papers to study for. reading my thick text and just going through the motion. i have try playing on repeat on my itunes.
Where there’s desire, there’s gonna be flame.
Where there’s a flame someone’s bound to get burnt.
But just because it burns, doesn’t mean you’re gonna die.
The kind of song you would deem as trashy. Tonight I have so much feelings about everything, about the things that remain the same, the things that have changed and the things that would potentially change.
For one, tonight I am particularly upset about not being able to be there for my best friend’s 21st. It’s going to be one of her happiest moment and I just want to be there so badly. So so so badly. But I have obligations of a student to fulfill.
Tonight I have no desire to talk to anyone else except for my trusty friend who is somewhat always by my side. I wish you knew what’s going on in my head, and maybe heart. I wish you bother to ask, but these days you don’t ever bother anymore, and all we are talking about is you and only you. Whenever I talk about him, you’d just dwindle away or give me monotonous replies or the other spectrum - over enthusiastic replies which don’t really mean a thing. I mean you’d be all “how do you want me to respond” but it would be nice if you bother to ask how I actually feel about everything.
Things that would potentially change - i think i have lost faith in humanity tonight, seeing you turning out this way hurts me.
I’m fine, just a little unhappy. And I’m getting sleepy from reading all this evidential bullshit.
"She didn’t really want to forget all of it, because it had all meant happiness at the time it happened. She only wanted to to be able someday to remember without finding it painful. That was the trick, to keep all the good things from the past and cast away the ones that hurt."
Rona Jaffe, The Best of Everything (via runawaytrain)
Reading himym quotes on tumblr all these spoilers etc but they are enough to make my eyes well up with tears, I really can’t bear to watch the season finale already.
These days have been so trying and I honestly feel so lost without you. I just want to see you again. Well, yeah back to consti in the meantime feeling stranded alone in the library waiting for my friend to appear.
I need people so much more than I think especially when you’re not here with me.